(Filip)
With family in India I spent almost 5 months. It was incredible experience. Something that I as a European person would never tell I would experience in my life. Close friends were always supporting me. Even other friends and younger generation in general did. But older one did not and they even thought I am crazy as I was travelling during coronavirus in such place. My closest family (especially mom) really support me with everything I was doing. Such experience in India is just priceless. How it work as a family in india is completely different from majority western people or families. Majority Indians see family as the most important thing while most western people are more individual. My personal opinion in this is that both mentalities should be balanced. Family is the most important thing but also everybody will have their own family in future right ?

I have experienced so many things with Lakshmi’s family than I would ever expect. Washing clothes with my bare hands, taking shower with bucket, taking Indian medicine, 2-3 times bigger insect than in Slovakia, even experience of police being called on me by one of drunk neighbour (I will explain later in post) and also extreme temperatures in summer. I came in summer and on some places it was looking like desert. We were too close to Earth equator. The dirt was more reddish than brown or dark like back in Slovakia. Sun was almost 90 degrees above our heads during noon. That’s why I really liked to take sunbath in India. Not for too long but yeah I have to admin, sometimes I was too long on that sun. 🤭 Lakshmi was laughing: “We usually want our skin to look fair and you, white guy.. want your skin to look like us.” 😄 I explained Lakshmi, that getting tan among white people is considered more attractive. Usually when someone will came home from vacation or more tropical countries, It is good feel to see skin to catch some brown color. I told Lakshmi to provoke: “I would be curious about your skin color after regular sunbath” 🤭 she replied: “It would be complete BLACK!” 😄 I said: “Hmm that would be pretty hot.” Lakshmi’s angry/funny cute face after this sentence was definitely worth it. 😄 Sometimes I really like provoking her. 🤭 Also I forgot to mention… I did not have any kind of idea, that sunbathing naked with only swimming pants would be problem for neighbours around us. But I was boy right ? So I thought it would not be a problem. Unfortunately I realised later it could be a little provocation in Indian culture. A man should be really careful and paying attention on what is proper and what rather not to do in India. But nothing bad happened.

In first days Lakshmi also taught me how to wash clothes with bare hands. How to put washing powder, how to do moves with hands to clean it and how to dry. Honestly after drying my underwear under such hot sun, I have to throw at least half of them to trash bin. They were completely destroyed after 3 months of drying in India. Indian clothes are usually made of different materials than ours. We usually have thick clothes. Indian clothes were usually really thin. Who would ever think that sun can destroy clothes right ? I am thinking now it would be better to dry on less hot place where I was used to. 🤭 When I was washing clothes Lakshmi usually sit next to me and was watching me. No, she was not watching, but provoking! She used to smile and laugh while I was washing. I was telling: “Is it really so funny to see European washing clothes with bare hands in India ?”, she replied: “YASSSSS!”. 😄 We never had enough laugh in India. I have so many stories to tell about our funny moments. I was always telling – the way I laughed and enjoyed life in India can’t be compared. It was just the best times of my life and I believe also in Lakshmi’s life… yet. 😄

We always used to have food together. Whole family sits on floor and me and Lakshmi in next room because sometimes it was not so comfortable for me to eat on the floor. I was simply not used to. I was already adapted on spice from first days back in Bengaluru but my digestion problems still little bit persist. The family had 2 toilets – one asian and one western. I was thinking like oh my god how lucky I am, that they have western one. I was still not used on asian one. Father was really thinking of everything I thought. I asked Migi why they have built also western toilet and she said it is for parents when they will be old to not always squat down. It is hard for legs in old days – it make sense, I thought. But back to my digestion problems. Trust me it is really uncomfortable to went on toilet 4 times during night time. Lakshmi’s relatives were still in house and it was really awkward thing for me honestly. Not to say even, that the door didn’t mute so much of sound. 🤭 But after 2 weeks it was gone and I was so grateful. Finally – I can eat what I want. 😛 Digestion problems can be sometimes underestimated when people are going to asian countries. Be really careful of that. It is nothing pleasant even when you want to enjoy first days of vacation let’s say.

But food… Food was delicious. I am still missing a lot of Indian/Tibetan food and I tried to make some also at home in Slovakia. But I am rather waiting for Lakshmi to come to Slovakia and we will cook together because it is hard for a person who doesn’t have experience with cooking to really make such true Indian food. We were even cooking sometimes together in India but I have to admit, yet, we are not so good chefs. 🤭 We are calling our cooking “Disasters” because we always made something without taste or too much overcooked. 😄 But we were always laughing on it and taking it easy and as a part of our amateur chef’s journey.

I still had work in India even during my stay with Lakshmi’s family. So I did not have always time for Lakshmi or family. Nobody was working from family that time because of corona virus. Lockdowns were too much strict and police that time were beating with sticks those people who was not listening. (kind of weird and funny at the same time for India). During summer Father is usually cooking for big celebrations or where they need. But there was no celebrations that time or weddings. Father is one of the best chef I have ever met in my life. He knows to cook really good. I felt honestly little bit embarrassed in front of Lakshmi, that I didn’t know how to cook at all. In winter both parents usually went to north to make cheap shopping jackets sweaters and winter clothes in general. Then they would came back to south and sell them for good price. During corona virus even Lakshmi couldn’t work that time. So I felt little bit responsible for family and don’t get me wrong – they never ever asked me for money. When I gave them money for help – food, house etc… it was from my initiative. Family just came to brand new house. They didn’t even had water filter (water coming from water tap was not drinkable like in Slovakia) or washing machine or nets on windows or even… hot water. Father needed every morning wake up and go with his small bike to buy filtered water. I felt bad for him and wanted to help him but family never let me to do some hard work too much. I understood them. It is inappropriate even in Europe to tell guest to do something hard. So that’s why I had at least work and could support them financially.

Later on I got more money and decided to buy washing machine for them. They were so happy. Lakshmi told me to not to buy or to do so much. But I explained her I am doing it for the parents and family as whole. Not only for her or her love. I just did it for family because I felt it would be right to do. Later on I bought also water filter to not see father everyday going so far with heavy tank. Lakshmi told me after this, that she got her wish list or to-do list for parents what she wants to buy for them and that I am actually filling slowly list she got for parents. I understand she really loves her parents and it makes me little bit happy I was provoking her like this. Then she was asking me: “Filip ? If you are accomplishing my parent’s to-do list. I want to know… what is your to-do list ?”. 😍 I thought she is making fun of me but she was real. I told her: “Migi are you serious ? You don’t need to make any to-do list for me I am happy with everything I have, especially you.”. I hug her and she got tears in her eyes. I would never ever thought I would be filling some Lakshmi’s list. I love her so much. 🤭 Then I started provoking her: “Please tell me more what you have in your to-do list for parents Puppy.” 😄 (We used to call each other Puppy as nickname). I want to do it only for parents because I couldn’t watching them be like this in their brand new house. I really love them. They were the most good, humble people I have ever met in my life.

(Lakshmi)
Filip helped us with groceries as none of us were working during lockdown. And even got washing machine and water filter which were in my to-do list for parents. I told him many times no need of all these but he insist to get since he is the only person working during those days. I really do appreciate all these but I set it in my mind to repay everything to him. So one more item in my To-do list – repay these to Filip when I will again start working again. 🙃

(Filip)
In past, parents worked really hard when they got 3 small daughters. They even needed to take them to job to take care of them while working. When Migi was telling me about parents I understand how hard life can be in India. It is not comparable even to Slovakia. Slovakia is soft blanket compared to India. Many people in Slovakia and in Europe in general are telling governments are bad and yes I admit there are many things to upgrade in our systems but… it is definitely not so bad as in India. India has no retirement system, no minimum wage, no health insurance, no social insurances, no employment advantages, no maternity from government etc… for regular worker from day to day wage. In India there is retirement system and advantages usually only for people working for government facilities, not for normal regular people. In Slovakia it is for everyone who is working from bottom to top. We can’t even imagine how hard these people in India need to work to get from poverty. And in Slovakia a guy with regular minimum wage with retirement and insurances is telling life is hard. We as a society are usually not looking down and thanking for what we have, but almost always looking up and complaining about everything. I am not telling not to make system better. I am only telling we forgot as a society from where we came. 🙏

After 3 months with family we were in really hard lockdown. We used to walk in the mornings and evenings regularly. Neighbours already know about me so no problem. Lakshmi told me only about one person in the street who is usually doing some problems and is alcoholic sometimes. One evening we went for a walk and the “bad” neighbour was there talking on phone with someone. He was drunk. When we approach him he start noticing me as a white guy. He came closer and start talking something in kannada (Language in state Karnataka in India). He started talking to parents who I am, from where I came, he didn’t saw me coming, that little kids are here in neighbourhood and I will infect them with corona virus… At that moment Lakshmi took me in the house to protect me and I can tell you… I was so pissed off and I wanted to go out and start telling him what the hell is he thinking!!! Lakshmi was making me calm down in house while he was yelling outside: “I will call police! I will call…” 🤦‍♂️ After a white he went home and it was quiet. After few minutes police came to our house. (I thought it was that neighbour with some friend) Lakshmi told me to stay down and not to came out. They were talking a lot about me. They asked how long I am here, who I am, why I am here… Everything. Phurbu was telling them the truth. Then they wanted me to came out. I prepared every documents everything in my mobile. When I came out I went straight to police (Thinking it is that neighbour) and telling: “Look at this documents! You see finally!?”, I was showing them my mobile. Then Phurbu warned me: “Filip calm down it is police, they want to ask you something.”, 😄 then I am like: “Ouuu my god I am sorry. I didn’t know.”. 😄 They asked me few question and then said: “Why you didn’t call the police instead the drunk person did. He shouldn’t call us. You should when he was creating problem.”. We were all laughing. Ou dear god we were so tremendously tensed. 😁

They were cops in civil so I couldn’t to recognise them. They told me to come to near police station tomorrow to show all documents and papers. They told us they will do check on that drunk person. After they went we came inside house and sit still with a little stress and big heart beat. And mom start telling: “I would go there and told them if they are not embarrassed!”, then father was moving head to signal disagreement and he told: “Nono, if there is smelling poo on the road, you will not take a stick and start poking that poo, because it will smell even worse. His mind is like poo.”. In that moment we start laughing like crazy. 😄😄 I can tell you father is really a funny person. All the stress we had was suddenly out. 😄 So this was an experience with cops in India.

By the time family knew there is something fishy about me and insect in India. I was absolutely not used on such big bugs and cockroaches like in India. One night I went to sleep. At 1 am I woke up on some weird noise like tick, tick, tick. When I heard it more time I knew in my mind: “There is something big in my room” 😮 I stand up and see it with my sleepy eyes. It was huge. It was just weirdly jumping on floor. I would count 2 inches big cockroach. I came and turn the light on. It instantly start running and cover under the table. I was like: “What the hell I should do with such big guy ? I can’t just take it in hands right ?” I was thinking. I tried to send Migi sms to came and help me with some tool or something. It was big or at least I thought it was big like my finger. Lakshmi till now is saying it was not so big but I am like – I am not used on such insect sizes right ? Never mind I started hunting it with some plastic bag. I didn’t know if it can do harm or not. it was running and running until it didn’t hide. Guess where… in my used underwear, which I thrown in my travel baggage before sleep !? I was taking my boxers and shaking it and it didn’t came out. I was like: “Is it really so intelligent ? Nooo I can’t believe.”. I throw those boxers in the hall and told myself in the morning I will just go to take them. I was so sleepy. I just didn’t want to play with bug all night. Then I came in bed and google “is cockroach intelligent ?” and there it was – it is one of the most intelligent insect on planet. I had no idea about that. Next morning family woke up earlier and they saw my underwear. They were thinking like if I got some diarrhoea or something happened. Migi came to me when I opened door and she was just: “I bought more mobile data for you because I thought you were working in night and what is that underwear ? You got some diarrhoea ?”. (sometimes I had habit of working in the night… never mind 😄) I just freeze and slowly start laughing shit out of me 😄 I was telling Lakshmi: “When I will tell you, you will not believe me.” When I told her the short story, we were laughing like 10 minutes constantly on bed. 😄 Lakshmi always told me: “Filip you seriously need this to put in the blog”. Well, here we go. 😄

(Lakshmi)
One morning I woke up and as usual I turned on my mobile to see lord Buddha’s face on mobile’s wallpaper as it always gives me some positive energy. But I noticed a text message “Migi help me please” – Filip. It was sent at late mid night… Was he working whole night? and needed mobile data? 🤔 I immediately recharged his mobile data and came out of room. There was his underwear in hall! What is happening? Mom came to me and told “Just go and check if Filip is okay, maybe he had diarrhoea whole night and threw out underwear because of it”. I went to his room he looked really normal and asked what is going on. He told there were cockroach in underwear so he threw it in hall. I was laughing a lot… OMG… 😄😄 I told mom and we were all laughing a lot. 😄

I agree we had lots of cultural differences, talking about food he slowly started loving spices and at the same time his lips turned cherry 🤭 and his eyes turns watery when spice touches his tongue. We Asian usually cook meat with bones but Filip was really not used to it and he really don’t like it. He was eating meat without bones from childhood.

(Filip)
Later on I had birthday. I woke up and went to open my room’s door. It was locked! I am like what is happening ? I thought: “Hmm something fishy!”. Then suddenly they opened and: “Happy birthday!” I was so shocked. I almost forgot I got birthday. They prepared traditional birthday for me. I got even cake! Ou my god I was so nervous what is happening but so happy. They told me, it is tradition to take peace of cake and feed others. I took one peace and put it in Lakshmi mouth, she took one peace and she were going to put it in mine where suddenly she put it on my face! I am like: “What is this! I got it all over my face!” 😄 we were laughing. Everybody put cake on my face, not in my mouth. Such a tricky people.

Once we had a trip. We were going to visit Tibetan village where family had old home – rent house before they shift to new house. When we came there I would not believe. People were so smiley and happy. I felt like they were one big family there. People in India usually don’t have too much things. But the mood and vibe they have for life is simply incredible. Once if you will have opportunity, go in India and experience also Buddhist temples or monks near temple. All humans there were so active, straight doing good and fun. Not thinking what will be, what was, what will happened if… they just were so much in present, that you can feel their energies. 🙏 I took a lot from this trip and once I will go with Lakshmi to see inside those temples. We couldn’t go because of lockdown. Those people were singing during cooking, they lived in harmony and peace all together. Lakshmi told me once, that she like a lot going to help old age house people. Those people were left by their family sons or daughters. Lakshmi always told me, she doesn’t understand how people can be so cruel sometimes. They were going to old age house with whole family to prepare food for old alone people. They are always happy when Lakshmi will came with family. I also can’t understand how they can just leave their parents. Again you can see how hard can be India. But at least good people are always helping there. I told to Lakshmi: “Once when I will came to India again with you, we will go there and help them. I want to help them too.”. She was really happy hearing it. We will go once together there. Again inner feel was telling me. This feeling is never lying to me.

Around our house there were sometimes lots of street dogs, cows or goats. Father usually feed the street dogs. Because he has good heart and always tell: “Feed the hungry ones and they will pray for you”. In next lives they believe, if you will end up in some forest or somewhere, they will help you. This in Slovakia is not so usual to see street dogs or cows being free around houses. So it takes some time to get used on it. During our free time we were also doing henna on our arms. (On photo you can see) Tell me what else we should do during free time in lockdowns ? 😄

So this was life we had during lockdown and corona virus in India. I really felt in love with Lakshmi that time. Spending whole 5 months together under one shelter can reveal a lot about character and personality. So I was so sure about her. I love her till today and even more. (1,5 years in relationship) My older brother Ivan is always making fun of me till today: “You are the only person I know who lived with girlfriend sooner than enter relationship.” 😄 But I didn’t had much choice before in lockdown in India right ? They took so care of me and I will never thank them enough. They are… my second family. ❤️

Spending 5 months with Lakshmi and her family was the best time in my life.